The first few people to learn of my life were afraid and saddened.

Two mother's grieved the loss of a baby while one got a daughter.

Two father's grieved the loss of a daughter while one stressed alcoholic gained another child.

A few months later, two mothers still grieved - while one wondered what was wrong.

A few years later a girl was lost and confused.

She was also physically, mentally, and emotionally abused.

Then things perked up with a string of surrogate sisters, who as time went on disappeared.

The girl was exausted, and sick, and confused as she grew older and was harassed and abused.

Then more pain was caused, as she figured life out.

Can one person's happiness really be what it is all about? 

I had a dream last night, that I had just given birth to a son. He had blonde hair, seafoam green eyes, weighted 7 lbs and was 21 inches long. He made my life sparkle amidst the hell I was in. The outfit I took him home in was a green and blue body suit, left half blue, and it had little cut outs on it an embroidery that said, One day, I will be a computer genius. I loved everything about the dream, except that Christian wasn't there and I was with my family, but that little baby, wanted only by myself and Christian, fixed any fear or pain that I was hurting me to a dull ache.